Finding Beautiful Read online

  He’s silent for a moment, making me wonder what he’s thinking about.

  “Eli?” His voice hardens just a bit. I don’t understand why.

  “Yeah, he’s my dance coach, Gavin.”

  “How long have you been working with him?”

  I gnaw at the inside of my cheek, unsure why he’s upset about this.

  “A few years. You’re not jealous are you?”

  “No, I mean, not necessarily. Aria, I think we need to talk.”

  My heart just about stops at those words and I drop my bag on my foot.

  “Shit! Shit!” I cry out, almost forgetting that he’s still on the phone.

  “Aria, are you okay?” he asks, as I cradle my foot like a baby.

  “Um, yeah, I’m fine. Can we talk later? I have to go.”

  “Sure. I’ll see you tonight?” His voice is still filled with concern.

  “Of course.” I hang up and decide to walk off my hurting foot while I search for Eli.

  What’s going on with Gavin? I mean, he was perfectly happy this morning and now?

  God, what if he’s changed his mind about us?

  I try to work off my anxiousness while I do my normal exercises with Eli, finding a rhythm in the music and listening when he speaks encouragingly to me. After 25 minutes, I begin to wind down from my worries.

  “Great job, Aria. Perfect. Now once more,” Eli says over the music.

  I take a deep breath, balancing on my feet before I close my eyes, finding my center and beginning my routine again.

  This time I take it slow, going through each move on pace with the violins overhead.

  When I finish my last step, I open my eyes and sink down to my knees. I take a swig of my Dasani water.

  “You did great, Aria. You feeling okay?”

  I nod, letting Eli pull me up, and I give him a smile and a side hug before making my way to where I left my bag and cowboy boots.

  “See you next week?” Eli calls from the back of the gym, ducking his head under a beam above.

  “Sure thing! Have a good one!” I call back, giving him a wave. I take off my ballet flats and place them in my bag and pull on my fleece jacket and boots.

  As I make my way out to my Jeep, I’m surprised just how much I miss Gavin as my day goes on. Sarah Bareilles’ “Brave” starts playing when I pull into the driveway of my apartment. I recognize it as Farah’s ring tone and I grab my cell off the dashboard.

  “Hey, Farah.”

  “Oh, my God!! I talked to Kel. Tell me everything!!!”

  I giggle at my friend’s excitement, pulling my ballet bag over one shoulder and heading up the stairs toward the elevator of my apartment building.

  “Shit, I wanted to tell you myself!” Damn sister of mine…

  “I know, but I have to know now. You spent the night with him?”

  “Uh, yes.” I know what she’s thinking…

  “Okay, so sex scale with 1 being the best and 10 being the suckiest, how was he?”

  I burst out laughing, earning a surprised glance from Kel as I unlock the door and sit on the sectional, trying and failing to give her evil eyes.

  “Seriously! I’ve only known him a day! I haven’t slept with him, you slut!”

  She laughs hard and I can hear Jaden, her boy toy of the moment laughing, too.

  “Oh, my God, I’m on speaker?” The blood rushes to my face.

  “Well, duh! He’s laughing his pretty little ass off!” She’s still laughing.

  Ugh, how embarrassing. My cheeks flame as I do a face palm.

  “Hanging up now, bye!” I end the call, feeling my face burn. I make my way into our living room, and Kel, giggling, puts down her book.

  “You told Farah?” She laughs again, giving me a squeeze as she hugs me.

  “Yup!” She is still laughing her ass off, the smart ass.

  * * *

  At 6:10, I hop out of a refreshing shower, blow-dry my hair, and braid it behind my head so it’s out of my eyes. I’ve picked out a light green dress that comes just above my knees to wear for dinner. I look in the mirror and suck in a breath, placing a pair of brown flats on my feet and my silver locket with an emerald birthstone in the center of the pendant around my neck. It was a birthday present from my dad that he gave me after Jeremy’s funeral almost a year ago. It gives me strength knowing he’d be happy for me as I start something new.

  I grab my phone and sit down on my bed, seeing three new messages from Gavin.

  Can’t wait to see you tonight, beautiful.

  You sounded a little off on the phone. You okay, Aria?

  I got out a little early. Are you home?

  I text him back, thankful that I can see him tonight. An unsettling feeling in my chest hasn’t left since our very brief phone call earlier.

  I’m home, no worries. Are we still on for dinner?

  Absolutely, I’m on my way over. I brought your favorite movie. :)

  I smile at that and step out of my bedroom, still feeling a little unsure of this “talk” with him.

  Kay, see u soon.

  I slip my phone into a silver tote and set it on the counter. While opening the fridge and pulling out two Coronas, I hear the roar of his Jaguar outside. I bite my lip with excitement running through me as he softly knocks twice on the door.

  I pull the door open and give him a smile, hoping he doesn’t see my uneasiness. Those blue-gray eyes gaze down at me, blazing with excitement, as his bottom lip is trapped between his teeth.

  “Hi,” I say, stepping closer to him, my eyes sweeping over his sculpted frame. He wears black jeans hanging perfectly on his hips, with a blue Billy Joel tee that is just a shade darker than the color of his eyes. His hair is messy and he has just a trace of stubble along his jaw.

  “Ms. Morgan, are you checking me out?” he drawls, giving my hand a tug so I’m wrapped in his arms and I press my face to his neck, inhaling his minty scent.

  “Most definitely, Mr. Thomas. You look edible.”

  In the next second, Gavin grasps my head in his hands and presses his lips to mine. I moan in both surprise and desire. His tongue explores, ravages, adores my mouth and I throw my arms around his neck while his hands grip my waist.

  “You say something like that and I just want to stay in with you all night, beautiful.”

  I suck in a breath, my breathing erratic as I realize for the first time in my life I want to make love to a man. The first time I had sex I was sixteen years old, lost and naive, seeking love in a man that was never capable of it. But with Gavin, I know it would be my choice. It would be making love, and that makes me both happy and terrified at the same time.

  “Hey, come back, beautiful,” he says, his eyebrows drawn together. His thumbs trace my jaw and I lean into him, my epiphany settling inside my mind.

  I want him. For the first time in my life, I want more.

  “What?” I’m brought back to the here and now.

  “You just got this faraway look, Aria. Where did you go?”

  I shake my head, not wanting him to think something is wrong.

  “Thinking. What did you bring me?”

  He grins as if he has a surprise and shows me the Blu-ray case in his hand.

  “Final Destination 3.”

  I squeal happily and pull him into the apartment. I told him this is my favorite movie of all time. As we walk into the living room, he sweeps my feet from under me and carries me to the couch, where he plops me down and laughs huskily. He leans forward, pecking my lips with a kiss. He puts the movie in and I turn on the TV.

  “You’re favorite, right?”

  I smile and settle my legs on his lap. My fingers interlaced in his, Gavin places a soft kiss on the palm of my left hand.

  “Hmm.”

  He smiles crookedly and switches off the lamp as I cuddle closer to his side, my legs thrown over his and his arm around my shoulders.

  He presses his nose into my hair as the credits start.

  “Mm-mm, you
smell good, Aria.”

  I rest my head on his chest and breathe him in, loving the nearness of his solid, warm body. This feels right.

  Six

  EVEN AFTER THE MOVIE ENDS, we sit and cuddle and stare at each other, not saying anything. A hand rests at the small of my back when he takes a big breath and I feel him stiffen a little as he holds me.

  “What happened earlier?” I murmur, trying to read his expression.

  “I don’t want to scare you off with what I’m about to say.”

  I gaze up at him, a little uneasy about what he could possibly say to scare me away.

  “Look, if you’re changing your mind after last night, Gavin, I’d completely… ”

  He interrupts with an index finger to my parted lips. His eyes blaze and I can’t take mine away from his.

  “I want us to be exclusive, baby.”

  My heart stops and then immediately speeds back to a rapid beat, soaring at the sound of those words. He hasn’t changed his mind. He really wants to be with me, and I can see it in his eyes.

  I gasp, rendered speechless, and his hand comes up to my cheek, his eyes clear of the darkness I saw before.

  “Are you sure?” I whisper¸ my palm resting over his heart where I feel it beating just as fast as mine. My chest fills with the desire for more with him. I skate my other hand to rest beside my left against his chest, just feeling his heart beat, his breaths.

  Gavin smiles then, genuinely and places his hand over mine where they rest.

  “You feel that?”

  “Yes.”

  “You have such an effect on me. When I’m away from you, all I think about are your emerald green eyes and soft, vibrant smile. I want to be with you in every way possible. I don’t want you to do this with anyone else, just me.”

  I can’t help the way I smile at him and I grasp his hands in both of mine, hastily nodding my assent.

  “No one else, I promise.”

  Then he kisses me. With a hand at the back of my neck and his arm wrapped tightly around my waist, he consumes me with his mouth, groaning when I suck on his bottom lip, nipping at it before I pull away.

  “Ready for dinner?”

  I grin, not being able to stop the joy this man incites within me. He helps me to my feet and holds my hand until we reach his car. God, I love this car.

  “Jasmine, right?” I ask, running my hand down the hood of the car.

  I see something pass over his features, telling me he doesn’t want to talk about it. Maybe the car, but not the girl.

  “Hey, will you tell me about her?” I ask, squeezing his hand in mine, gauging his reaction.

  Gavin slowly turns to me and runs a hand through his hair, opening the passenger door for me like a gentleman. I can’t help thinking that his mother must have raised him right.

  “Soon, okay?” I nod, sitting in the seat before he closes the door, and a minute later the engine revs to life. It vibrates underneath us and it elicits a shiver of excitement to spread up my back and to my fingers. What would it feel like if I unbuckled my seat belt and slid over his lap right now, with the rumble and tug of a Jaguars engine underneath us? I find myself biting my lip as the fantasy takes hold of my mind and my body.

  “What are you thinking about, baby?”

  “W-what?” My eyes go to his, cheeks reddening having been caught with the way my thoughts were turning. He narrows his eyes at me a bit and then shakes his head, his mouth turning up into a mischievous grin.

  “Careful, please.”

  He smiles wickedly at me, giving me a wink. This elicits goose bumps over my skin for what’s to come.

  “Hang on tight, Ms. Morgan.”

  A delicious shiver runs through me at his deep voice, and the engine beneath us just excites me more.

  When we pull onto a dirt road off of Eastern Avenue in South End, my eyes dart to Gavin, who has one hand on the steering wheel, the other interlaced in mine across my lap.

  “What are you up to?”

  He grins, not taking his eyes off the road.

  “I’m taking my beautiful girl to dinner.”

  My heart skips a beat and I smile, biting down on my lip, his touch against my hand revving me to life.

  “Oh, okay. I was just making sure you weren’t taking me down a deserted road to hack me to pieces like in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” He throws his head back and laughs, his eyes briefly flicking over to mine when we enter a clearing covered with green grass, and I see lilacs spread around the property.

  I gasp, wondering where we are and how he knew what my favorite flower was.

  A small brick building comes into view. It has a white door and small-town charm. There’s a gravel walkway leading to the door, and the glass windows reaching the entire height of the building tell me that the lights inside are dimmed and it most likely has a romantic feel.

  The sign above the entrance is in the shape of an Italian pasta dish with twinkling lights hanging from it and it reads Amore per La Casa. I’m speechless, my eyes blinking in disbelief as I take it all in.

  Gavin looks over at me, smiling in amusement and using his hands to hold my face. I close my eyes and open them again, leaning up and pressing my mouth to his in thanks.

  “This is beautiful, Gavin,” I whisper, leaning away and gazing into his eyes.

  He chuckles and kisses my hand softly.

  “Wait till you see inside, Aria.”

  I grin and kiss him again, deeper this time.

  He kisses me back, his hand anchoring my head to his mouth, gripping my hip with the other. I feel the tightening in my core, wanting to kiss every possible surface of his skin, but knowing I can’t yet. I’m breathless, forcing myself to pull away, my mouth tingling in aftershock from the kiss.

  “How did you know?” I ask as he leads me up the walkway, his hand in mine.

  “What?”

  I lean down and pick up a lilac, cradling it in my palm.

  “That this is my favorite flower. Did Kel tell you?”

  He takes a step back, his eyes first filling with confusion and then with sheer excitement.

  “Really, beautiful?”

  I nod, my face stretching in happiness.

  His eyes lock on to mine and he pulls me into him, wrapping an arm around my waist. The sweetest of kisses is pressed to my temple.

  “Ever since yesterday, I’ve noticed you always smell like lilacs, Aria. It’s intoxicating and sweet, making it impossible for me to stay away from you.”

  Oh, my. How can a guy like this exist and actually like me? My head is swimming with excitement, and also with worry that somehow I’m going to wake up from this dream tomorrow.

  Gavin opens the wooden door for me and we step inside, the southern charm of this quaint Italian restaurant taking my breath away.

  “Do you own this?” I have to ask.

  He smiles lopsidedly at me, shaking his head.

  “I’m a silent owner. My grandmother founded this place and my cousin Anthony and his wife Stella have run it for the last six years. All I do is help keep it thriving financially. It’s amazing, isn’t it?”

  I grin and nod, pulling him to the reception desk where an older woman with red curly hair and gray eyes smiles, welcoming us.

  “Hey, Gavin. How are you doing, honey?” she says, her smile warm. Gavin takes her hand and smiles endearingly.

  “I’m good, Stella. You look happy, as always. How’s my cousin these days?”

  She grabs two menus and leads us up the stairs to a balcony table with only two chairs and a black top.

  “He’s good, working hard. I swear he never stops!” She laughs lightly. “Will it just be you two tonight?”

  Gavin smiles at me, pulling out a seat for me and grasping my hand before I sit.

  “Yes, excuse my manners, please. Stella, this is Aria. Aria, this is Stella. She’s part owner of this restaurant.”

  I smile and shake her hand, amazed at how deep her eyes are.

  “A ple
asure. This is a wonderful place, Stella. Thank you for having us.”

  She tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear, looking back to Gavin who places his hands on my shoulders, massaging gently.

  “It’s our honor, Aria. Have a wonderful meal on me, please.”

  “Thank you, Stella,” I say as she places our menus in front of us and heads back the way she came.

  “She’s delightful, Gavin.”

  He smiles, his eyes alight with easy contentment.

  “She is. I’m glad you got to meet her, Aria.”

  I smile back at him and pick up the menu, feeling lighter now that I’ve begun to see into the mystery that is Gavin Thomas. We order from what Stella recommends and I nibble on delicious bread and cheese as we wait.

  “Here you go guys. Fresh from the oven. Do you need anything else at all?”

  Stella graciously sets two steaming plates of food in front of us and refills our waters.

  “No, no, thank you so much Stella. This looks amazing.”

  Gavin reaches across the table to take her hand in his, smiling at her in that charming way of his.

  “Enjoy and please come back soon, OK?”

  I nod around my first bite of pasta and hear Gavin speak to her some more.

  “You’re quiet, beautiful,” Gavin says after she excuses herself to serve another table and I look up from my fettuccine Alfredo with basil and see his eyes looking into mine.

  “Oh, sorry, I was just thinking about how much I love this place. It’s so quaint and the food is delightful.”

  He doesn’t smile like I expected. He puts down his fork and looks into my eyes, taking my hand across the table, making it impossible for me to hide from him.

  “I don’t think that’s all there is, Aria. I want us to be honest with each other. This is all so new to me and I don’t want to mess it up with you, beautiful. Please tell me what’s wrong.”

  I sigh, putting down my fork and wiping my mouth a little before his eyes capture mine again.

  “I don’t know, you’re just so… unexpected. You make me feel different, happy, worthy, even beautiful. I like being with you so much, and this is all so amazing, Gavin.”

  He exhales, a small smile playing on his lips.

  “I want to make you feel all those things and more, and I feel the same way. I didn’t plan to be so drawn to you like this, to feel this way, but it’s here and it’s amazing. Can’t we just enjoy it?”