Finding Beautiful Read online

  “But… you can be honest, Gavin. You didn’t sign up for this. He broke me… I-I don’t know if I ever healed from it” My damn voice breaks when I say the last word. Before I know what’s happening, Gavin’s mouth is covering mine and his tongue is in my mouth. In his kiss I find solace and a tenderness that I hadn’t expected.

  “My beautiful, strong girl. You are not broken. You are amazing.”

  I smile up at him, finally believing the honesty I see in those blue-gray eyes of his. He means it. He understands. He accepts me and he still wants me.

  “You’re sure?” I whisper, pressing my palm to his heart. I feel its steady beat under my fingers. The smile Gavin gives me chases away the shadows I’ve been living in for so, so long. He leans his forehead against mine.

  “Yes.” As Gavin holds me close, we watch the flames in his vast fireplace.

  “When?” he whispers after long minutes of holding me close.

  “Four months ago.”

  “If this is moving too fast, Aria, just tell me. Your sister told me you had an ex, but, God, I had no idea.”

  I snuggle closer to him, pressing my head against his shoulder.

  “It’s not, I promise. I’m with you, Gavin.”

  This is all I want, all I need.

  Eight

  “WHAT HAPPENED?” I hear Gavin’s voice brush against the shell of my ear, soft like velvet but traced with concern as he speaks.

  I turn to face him and his eyes, darkened with worry but still a brilliant blue gray, lock onto mine.

  “I woke up in the hospital. The night they found me, I was in bad shape. My dad found me that way. He attacked Bryce, but he never got in trouble for that, thank God.”

  Gavin nods, his face calmer now, though I see the simmering anger in his eyes. He wants to protect me and it makes me feel safe knowing he feels that way.

  “Is he… ”

  “Bryce—he’s out of jail now, but I have a restraining order against him. If he steps within five hundred feet of me, he’ll go back to prison.”

  I look up to see a stark¸ determined look in those eyes I’ve come to know so well. I can see what he is thinking and I hastily shake my head.

  “I need a last name, Aria.” So he can track down the bastard that hurt me and do what?

  “No.” I will not let him do that. It won’t change anything.

  I feel his chest tighten, the muscles clenching under my fingers.

  Finally, Gavin sighs and stands up, pacing the length of the dining area. I can see the tension in his shoulders as he walks purposefully.

  “I need to protect you, Aria. I can’t live with the idea that he could find you again.”

  I get up and wrap my arms around his neck.

  “You’re not going after him. I won’t let you.”

  He curses and pulls me into his arms again.

  “I won’t let him hurt you. I promise you.”

  I nod, safely wrapped in his arms.

  “I know. Thank you.”

  * * *

  The strains of a building melody begin and my feet glide across the floor, the steps graceful as I close my eyes and surrender myself to the rhythm of the music and the movement of my feet, my hands, and my body. I spin and take the last step before the music fades and the lights dim.

  I grab my bag and turn to see Gavin with a soft smile across his face while he watches me in awe. My cheeks flame as I didn’t know he was watching, and I’m hoping I didn’t make any mistakes in the steps. God, he’s sexy. He’s wearing a gray sweater with black slacks, his hair slicked back from a shower. His stubble is still there, though. I inwardly smile, knowing how wonderful it feels under my fingertips.

  “That was so beautiful, Aria,” he says, handing me a water once I reach him.

  “I didn’t know you were watching.” I feel my blush.

  He grins slowly, grazing his knuckles against my jaw.

  “You were flawless as always,” he murmurs, pulling me to his warm chest before placing those lips over mine, breathing me in.

  * * *

  I’m lost in thought on the ride back to my apartment after a delightful picnic with my man, my Gavin. Yes, it’s been a delightful three weeks since that night in his penthouse. He’s taken me out almost every night, but he hasn’t invited me up again. I know why, but I want him so badly I’ll gladly have him across the studio’s hardwood floors, the grass where he takes me to have a picnic just before sunset, even over the hood of his oh-so-sexy car. But that’s not possible, unfortunately.

  “Can we get takeout tonight?” I ask as we enter my apartment and I head to the bathroom to get out of my green knee-length dress. Gavin smiles crookedly and nods, giving me a quick kiss before he lets me go. My heart skips a beat at the sight of that dimple.

  “Dinner?” he calls to me.

  “You choose. I’m just going to change.” I call back, suddenly getting an idea. Tonight’s the night.

  “No rush. I’ll pick a movie, too.”

  I head to the bathroom and call over my shoulder.

  “No horror movies!”

  “But those are the best kind!” I hear the low sounds of his chuckle.

  * * *

  The chicken Parmesan makes me moan in appreciation. I feel Gavin’s eyes on me when I watch a funny part in the movie he picked out for us. He arranged both the movie and the wonderful dinner all while I was in the bathroom. When I asked how, he just winked at me as if it was nothing. How did he do that? I look over and see his eyes still trained on me.

  “You’re not watching it,” I say, pouting. Gavin mutes the television and leans forward once my plate is empty.

  “I know. I’m watching you, beautiful.”

  I lean in and kiss him softly on the side of his mouth before taking our plates to the kitchen and soaking them in soapy water.

  “Come here, Aria,” Gavin says, his voice smooth as I walk toward him. Every time I look at him, I have to remind myself to breathe. He’s wearing a pair of low-slung blue jeans and a gray Rolling Stones t-shirt. He’s barefoot, which is so goddamn sexy, and his hair is messy. It always is. He pulls me into his arms and dips his head, his mouth hovering over mine.

  “I want you tonight, baby.”

  I gasp, biting down on my lower lip to stifle a moan. He wants me.

  “I want you, too, Gavin. I thought after I told you… maybe it changed… ”

  He shakes his head, his eyes blazing with sincerity and desire.

  “Nothing could change the way I feel for you.”

  Then he kisses me. Gavin’s hands grip my hips as I tangle my fingers in smooth, silky strands of his hair. His mouth is hungry against mine, his breath whispering against my lips. I open my mouth to him, my heart racing in excitement and my tongue licking impatiently into his mouth. He groans, nipping at my lip and sucking on it until I moan in desire. When he pulls away, his eyes are filled with pure lust.

  “Are you sure? If you need to take this slow or to wait a while, then we will, Aria. You’re in charge here.” His voice is filled with softness, waiting for me to make a decision.

  I hastily shake my head. I want this so badly with him I don’t need to wait. I need him. His touch.

  “I want this, Gavin. Make love to me.” My voice is pleading, raspy with my need for him.

  He exhales and slowly an enigmatic beautiful smile spreads over his face.

  He grabs my hand and I follow him to my dimly lit bedroom. The heavenly smells make me pause on the threshold of my bedroom.

  My breath catches when I see the bouquet of flowers on my dresser, filled with lilacs and daisies. My eyes flicker over to my queen-size bed, covered in red rose petals. There are lit candles on every possible surface and it takes my breath away.

  “Gavin?” He wraps his arms around me and sweeps my hair away from the back of my neck. He begins tantalizingly kissing and sucking on my skin. I moan, my skin breaking out in delicious goose bumps.

  “How did you… ”

 
; He chuckles and begins massaging my shoulders, making me moan again from the feel of his hands on me.

  “I wanted tonight to be special for us, beautiful. And I had some help.”

  I giggle, now knowing why Kel mysteriously disappeared to Dad’s place tonight.

  “Kel?” I murmur as he nestles his face into the back of my neck.

  “Mm hm.”

  I moan when he begins kissing my neck again and his fingers lift the bottom of my shirt. I feel his hand slip underneath the fabric. His touch is warm and gentle against my back, gliding up my shirt as he goes. Gavin then turns me around and locks his eyes on mine, blue-gray to green. His hands grasp the bottom of my shirt and slowly lifts it up. When he pulls it over my head I see him suck in a breath. Those eyes roam over my upper body and then I see his shoulders tense a little and I realize what he’s looking at. Shit! Why didn’t I just keep my shirt on? I close my eyes briefly until I feel his fingers run across a long pink scar on my right hip. The memories assault me and I remember the pain. What should have been fun, turned into a nightmare when Bryce pushed me down the stairs of the cabin the night of his birthday party and I had to get seventeen stitches on my torso.

  “Oh, beautiful,” Gavin whispers and suddenly he’s on his knees in front of me. Leaning forward, he presses a kiss to the side of my scar, his lips gliding up the length of it. I feel as if he’s healing my soul with just a simple kiss. With another kiss to my hip, his hands come up to cradle my face.

  “You’re so goddamn beautiful” he drawls, blinking up at me with his deep blue-gray eyes.

  I bite my lip to stop from saying the words that threaten to tumble out. With eager fingers, I pull him up to me, desperately gripping the bottom of his shirt with my hand.

  “Kiss me,” I whisper, pulling him closer to me. My fingers start unbuttoning his dress shirt, revealing his golden skin.

  A smile, the smile that Gavin saves only for me, takes over his features as he lifts my face and takes my mouth in a soft, passionate kiss. I moan as his hands move down to the top of my yoga pants.

  “You first,” I whisper, pushing the fabric from his torso with greedy hands. Gavin stands before me, chest bare, smoldering blue-gray eyes filled with desire. I suck in a breath of air at the sight of him.

  Oh, my God. He’s just as toned as I imagined, with a chiseled chest and a six-pack that shows his dedication to keeping himself fit. I run my hands down his chest, reveling in the feel of his smooth skin under my fingers. The muscles ripple and tighten under them.

  His mouth closes over mine again. Gavin sweeps my legs from underneath me and parts my lips with his tongue. His scent overwhelms me. I wrap my arms around his neck and he sets me onto the bed so my head rests on the pillows. He begins to kiss ever so slowly down my neck, licking my flesh as he goes. There’s nothing rushed about the way he kisses me. He’s taking his time and God, I want him.

  “Gavin, babe, please… ” I skate my nails down his bared shoulders in need.

  He lifts his head and smiles seductively at me, a kind of smile that teases me.

  “Impatient?” Gavin asks against my skin.

  I nod eagerly, reaching for his belt buckle.

  “Aria… ” he whispers when I press my lips to his jaw, teasing it with slow licks.

  “I want you, Gavin. Here. Now. You.” I kiss his neck, jaw, and chest in between each word.

  He stops my hands and pulls them over my head. His soft eyes dance with want, mirroring my own, I’m sure. Gavin keeps my hands still while he gazes down at me.

  “I want to take this slow, okay?”

  I nod, succumbing to his lovely weight upon my lower stomach. After a beat, he releases my hands as he kisses down my jaw, nipping at my collarbone. I wrap my legs around his hips and then his mouth sucks at the top of my breasts. He deftly undoes the front clasp of my black lacy bra and slides the straps down my arms. I moan in ecstasy as his mouth closes over one of my nipples, hardening under his urgent mouth. He sucks and nips on it, causing a tightening in my core. I feel the warmth between my legs. My hands clench in the sheets, desire coursing through me. I whimper, my head falling back.

  “Oh… ” I whisper, feeling his mouth gliding over to my other breast. His tongue adores the skin and teases the nipple slowly before he sucks it into his mouth, releasing an impatient moan from my parted lips. He’s torturing me.

  “Please… ” I beg, pulling his head to my urgent lips for a kiss.

  He smiles against my mouth as he sits up and runs his hands down my chest, cupping each breast, before lowering them to the edge of my pants again.

  Gavin slips his hands under the hem and begins to slowly pull off my pants as he kisses my stomach, my thighs, and my calves until finally all that’s left on my tingling body is a pair of black lacy boy-short panties.

  “If you need to stop at any time, Aria, just tell me and we’ll stop.” His voice is against my ear and his arms are on either side of my head as he keeps most of his weight off me.

  I nod, taking his face in my hands. I see the hunger and lust in his eyes, but more than that, I see the care for me in them, too. He doesn’t want to push me, which only makes me want him more.

  “Don’t stop. I want this, Gavin.”

  Gavin sits back on his heels. His blue-gray eyes never leave mine as he undoes his belt buckle and unzips his jeans. I’m breathless, watching him move off the bed and drop his jeans to the floor so that all he has on is a pair of navy blue boxers. My eyes sweep from his ruggedly handsome face to his chiseled chest, down to his firm abs and his oh-so-toned hips and thighs. I feel that ache between my legs in desire for him and the stutter of my heart in anticipation of making love to him.

  I reach out my hand to him and he grasps it. He kisses the palm and hovers over me again.

  “Aria, you take my breath away.”

  I pull his mouth to mine and kiss him until I have to come up for air.

  He slides down the bed toward my ankles and begins to kiss the left one ever so softly. His mouth glides up my calf, over the knee, and up my thigh. I shiver with desire, having his mouth between my legs.

  “Gavin… ”

  I moan as he repeats the process with my other leg, his hand stroking up my thigh.

  “You feel so good,” he whispers, and my eyes close from the sound of his husky voice and teasing touch. Impossibly, it feels like my first time making love to anyone. And although it isn’t, while feeling Gavin’s adoring touch and warm breath upon the skin of my thighs, I realize that this is completely new to me.

  His fingers slip under the fabric of my panties and I suck in a breath.

  “You okay?” he whispers, forcing my eyes open with one hand on my cheek.

  “Please don’t stop, Gavin.”

  “I won’t, baby.” He pulls my panties off and his boxers join them a moment later.

  I wrap my arms around his shoulders and press my mouth to his as he parts my legs with his knee.

  Anticipation curls deep in my belly, and when I see Gavin hovering over me, licking the seam of his bottom lip, my core clenches with that ache for him. I pull those delectable lips to mine, groaning in need as he bites down gently on my lower lip.

  He pulls away, his hand sliding up my thighs as his forehead presses against mine.

  “My beautiful girl,” he says, sliding his palm up and over my aching center.

  Please…

  When his fingers enter me, I moan loudly, my mouth opening and my head falling backward against the pillow. I feel myself tighten around his fingers. God, it’s just so good, so right.

  “Oh, Gavin.” He slides his body down on mine until I feel his warm breath between my legs. Oh, yes. My core tightens as his lips close around me, his tongue licking slowly into the folds, his fingers sliding in and out of me, working me. Fireworks shoot over my skin, curling into the depths of my body.

  “Don’t stop… ” I whisper, tangling my fingers into his hair when his tongue pulls at my clit.

&nb
sp; “Gavin! Aah… ” I feel something build inside me as his mouth teases my clit, his fingers going faster. In. Out. In. Out. It’s perfection and torture all in the same motion because, though I need to feel, I don’t want him to stop loving me. Loving me. God, is that what he’s doing?

  Yes, we’re making love. Together, right now. And it’s the best thing I’ve ever felt.

  “Gavin!” Hard waves of such intense pleasure engulf me that I see stars. I wrap my arms around his neck, not wanting to ever let go.

  I call out his name over and over, louder and louder as the orgasm crashes around me. My body trembles with the force of it. I feel myself wet between my legs as Gavin pulls his fingers away and slows his kissing as his mouth moves up my hip, my stomach, my chest. My skin tingles, my heart trembles, my eyes close when tears gather on my lashes. I feel loved. Loved by this man so completely.

  My sheer desire returns, feeling myself coming down from what I’m convinced is my first ever orgasm. How can that be possible? My eyes open and are immediately captured by Gavin’s.

  “Was that your first orgasm, beautiful?” he murmurs into the skin of my neck.

  I giggle, nodding my head as he smooths a strand of hair away from my face.

  “Do you have… ?” I flick my eyes down to where he’s nestled between my legs.

  He nods, sliding off the bed as he retrieves two condoms from his wallet. I feel the bed dip when he crawls over me again.

  He begins kissing my neck, teasing my opening with his length. His breath is at my ear where he whispers against my skin.

  “Do you need to stop?” His voice is filled with strained need mixed with his ever present care for me. I rub my fingers over his stubble, drowning in the desire I see in his eyes.

  I shake my head, kissing his lips impatiently. He grabs the back of my neck and kisses me hard on my lips as he ever so slowly slides into me. I moan at the feeling of such fullness and a slight burn as I expand around him. I moan into his neck, kissing up to his mouth where he kisses me so passionately, his tongue sweeping over mine. I wrap my legs around his hips and in a matter of seconds the pleasure consumes my body. His mouth is closing over mine more softly now. Gavin cradles my face in his hands and my arms wrap around his back. I can’t help but clutch onto him as he slowly moves out of me and back in again. I can feel myself build again and I lift my hips up to him, moaning in pleasure at the heavenly feeling of him inside me.